Barry Conner was the most gifted person I've known. I had to wait 32 years to be able to say that. Now that he's passed, I'm able to share some things that I didn't have permission to share while he was alive. And that radical humility was one of the things I learned from him. He didn't want to call attention to himself or his gifting. He went to great lengths to stay anonymous. He wanted his life to reflect Jesus and never wanted to get in the way of that.

To his family, his incredible intellect was obvious since he was a small child. He read his first book when he was two years-old. He read every book in his local library by the time he was 10. Barry was like Mozart or Elon Musk - ideas perpetually flowed into his mind as though there was a heavenly firewire downloading them. To know him and listen to him was to want to get a paper and pen out and take notes. His mind overflowed with things he wanted to share with you. Yes, often the concepts he shared were complicated, but just as often, they had to do with character and spirituality.

I'm starting this blog post to share a few of these things, but I know there are hundreds of people like me and I'm hoping that if you knew Barry, you'll share what you learned from him as well in the comment section below. Stories about Barry and what the lessons he loved to give others could fill books. My hope is that we can capture some of them here as a way of encouraging his family and passing on his wisdom to future generations.

So here are a few of mine:

Extreme generosity

We were moving to Gainesville in 1994 and knew no one. The first resident of Gainesville I got to know was Barry. We were at a dinner party and Barry and I talked the whole time. I shared with him how we were moving our family and our ministry from Florida to Georgia and hoped to find property to build on. I told him about the ministry. Before the night was over he said, "If you find your land, I'll build your house at cost."

We found the land, picked out a model at Barry's company, America's Home Place, and then we left to spend the summer in Mexico. When we returned, the house was almost finished! Seeing that we had no place to go, Barry paid for an apartment for us to live in until we could move in.

What I didn't know at the time is that, this was normal for Barry. He took Jesus at his word when he said "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35.

Go deep

I used to drop by Barry's office periodically to have a conversation. Barry ran one of the largest companies of its kind in America. Yet, our conversations typically went on for hours. They ranged from reforming our nation's educational system to how to provide housing for Peru's people. We went on many trips together. Wherever we went, the conversations kept on going. Our poor wives! Once we were flying to Mexico. Bridget had joined Barry and we were in the Houston airport waiting for our next flight.

I don't remember what we were talking about, but at some point, Bridget looked out the window, pointed to a plane on the tarmac getting ready to take off and said, "Is that our flight?"

It was! We were so engrossed in a deep conversation that we'd lost track of time.

That's the way Barry rolled. He always wanted to go deeper. He wanted to know your motives. He wanted to know where you were headed in life and how he might help you.

Difficult people are God's gift to you

Barry believed in taking radical responsibility for your life. He believed in practicing agency in every situation. Once we were in conversation in his office. I described a tough relationship I was in. In my version of the story, I'd been hurt by someone who worked for me and wanted to know what I should do.

"You should begin by recognizing that this person is God's gift to you. The most difficult person in your life is like a grindstone that he uses to sharpen you. You are never a victim. All those times you've gotten frustrated by people in the past, you didn't see the gift that God was trying to give you."

Those were not the words I wanted to hear! But I thought about it and went home looking for a chance to put Barry's principle into practice. I wrote a blog about it and eventually, that principle changed the way I lived.

Prioritize the poor

We were on a train into Mumbai early in the morning. We had been talking about what the Bible said about taxation and other economic issues. At some point we looked outside our window. Our train passed through slum after slum for nearly an hour before arriving at the station. Barry was fascinated. He asked himself, "why are so many people so extraordinarily poor?"

Later, without any concern about security, he walked to a nearby slum to talk with its inhabitants. What were their lives like? What were they doing to try and improve their lot? How did they educate their children?

We went on to visit leper colonies and orphanages. Barry loved the poor and sought to help them wherever he went.

Barry and I connected so deeply in part because he looked at the way Jesus cared for the poor and he tried to do the same thing. He knew that one of the basic needs of poor people is adequate housing. He invested millions in trying to help the world's poor improve their lot in life.

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If you were fortunate enough to know Barry, doubtless you've got stories and the lessons he taught like I do. Please share them for others in the comment section below.