Finding a mentor is not a complicated proposition, but finding a spiritual coach usually is. The reason is that mentors help people acquire competencies, whereas spiritual coaches touch the deepest parts of a person. It's like comparing a general practitioner with a neurologist. Working with a spiritual coach requires a deeper level of trust than does working with a mentor since they address issues that often involve that tenderest of personal areas: your identity.

And as rare as spiritual coaches may be, finding one you click with is especially difficult. In time, they may actually become a spiritual father (or mother) to you, one who actually helps birth the kingdom of God in you.

When I went looking for a mentor, at age 35, I didn't understand this distinction. I just knew that I needed help to grow. I failed four times before God directed my steps to someone who has been more of a spiritual father than a mentor or even a coach.

The first of my would-be mentors was a successful businessman who saw me struggling and intervened by meeting with me as I was getting AIM off the ground. If I had to do it over again, I would have gone to these meetings better prepared, and I would have taken more initiative.