Gary Black has six kids of his own and has ministered to young people for about twenty years.  He has seen how messed up kids can become when they get caught up in the dating system and he blogged about it.  Having raised five children, Karen and I also have seen how dating is a broken system.

Consider: It exposes young people to temptations and emotional turmoil when marriage is never a consideration. It gives them experience in frequent failure and the consequent flushing of relationships.  It puts pressure on young people and sends them through unnecessary ups and downs.  It interrupts a process of emotional development, isolating young people from the perspective and wisdom they need. And it subjects young people to decisions about sex that they are unprepared to make.

On this last point, I like what Kim Martin said when she responded to Gary's blog:

I wish I had this standard set before me when I was growing up. Instead, I had this stupid idea that if it wasn't intercourse it wasn't sex. How ridiculous the lies are that we believe.

Even into adulthood, I have struggled with not giving my heart away. I never learned how to protect myself. As soon as a guy gave me a little attention and made me feel wanted, I put my heart on a platter. Of course, it always came back chewed up and spit out.

I still struggle with what it looks like get to know somebody in a healthy way. I think I set myself up to avoid it out of fear of repeating past patterns.

I really wish somebody had taken the time to teach me how to guard my heart, before I made all those bad choices.