Discipling is about relationship - it's spiritual fathering, a relationship where one person sees Jesus in another person and says, "Oh, that's what he looks like!"

Where did this idea of discipleship as a Bible Study come from? That's a cheap imitation of the real thing. Yes, studying the Bible is an important aspect of discipleship, but it's just one facet. It's more about life lived together, casual conversations in the kitchen, the park, over coffee.

Most people are looking for someone to invest in and believe in them. A discipler doesn't need much to be effective, just a little more experience than the one he's coaching and the willingness to invest.

But finding that person in our independent society can take real perseverance - I know, I tried and failed repeatedly.

I have made a deliberate pitch to four Christian leaders to disciple me at key times in my life. All of them either turned me down or let me down. One, Andrew Shearman, I continued to pursue until he gave up and started hanging out with me. Andrew is a man I admire - he loves people, and he loves God passionately. He's a man's man. Today he is getting on a plane to hike to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro with his son.

Andrew has been a model of a spiritual father for me. He has made time for me; he knows my strengths and proclivities. He listens to my rants and believes the best about me anyway. As we sip our cappuccinos, he listens to my plans and thinks the Jesus in me can actually see them become reality.