If you're in a tough place and can't see the way out, your natural reaction may be to:

• complain
• or find reasons to justify your thinking about the mess you're in

A better approach is to ask questions. Ask them of God. And ask them of people you respect. And then listen - really listen.

I spent nearly a decade fixated on a friend's betrayal instead of seeing him as God's tool to promote me. Until I could get over my own ego issues, I wasn't ready for the promotion. Instead of asking questions like, "What is God trying to teach me here?" I focused on my pain.

What a waste of time! We go around the same mountains over and over again because we don't take the time to seek new points of view. We need coaching often more than we need encouragement. Stop crying in your beer and man up. Get over yourself and ask a few questions.

Yesterday's post was about the importance of a challenge in helping us grow. But a challenge is not a challenge until we stop seeing it as a negative thing sent to us by the enemy and see it instead as a tool in God's hand shaping our character.

And we get to that perspective by asking questions and making space for God to answer them. I've found that a journal helps. Write down your question and then write down your impression of what God says in response. Run it by a trusted friend and check it out against what the Bible says. You could save yourself years of wandering in some desert place.

What ruts are you in? What questions have you asked God about them?