Seth Barnes Nov 24, 2008 7:00 PM

Giving me away

"Who gives this woman away to be married?" the preacher asks. Few moments in life are more poignant than when a father gives his daughter away ...

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"Who gives this woman away to be married?" the preacher asks.

Few moments in life are more poignant than when a father gives his daughter away in a wedding ceremony.

What could be more precious than a man's own flesh and blood? To entrust something you'd die to protect to a callow, young man you barely know seems on its face to be foolish. Factor in the marriage failure rate, and I'd say we fathers are entitled to our misgivings. I've got four beautiful daughters of marriageable age, and I struggle with this.

Yet, when you look at the way society has empowered women, our concept of giving a daughter away can seem quaint and anachronistic. Hey, by 21, they're calling their own shots, so who are we kidding here?

How can a father step in and give away a daughter who is perfectly autonomous?

On the other hand, any self-respecting dad views his daughter as a little princess, and in their hearts, the daughter loves that special place in his life that they alone occupy.

There is something profoundly spiritual, a deep magic, at work here. Is it any wonder women fantasize about their wedding day? There is the unveiling, the idea of a girl becoming a woman, the daughter becoming a wife, the two becoming one. How appropriate that we should all rise and even gasp or weep at her first appearance at the back of the church.

Is it any wonder that God himself should use the metaphor of a bride to describe us, his prized creation, while referring to his son as the groom? Or that he should call our reunion a wedding feast? Don't we all long for that day when the veil is lifted and our creator kisses us?

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