Jannie and Dodie Botha are marriage counselors from South Africa. They have a simple tool they give couples that works wonders - it cuts through a lot of the junk that can clog up a marital relationship.  Schedule a weekly meeting to air your relational issues.  The Bothas call it “Knee Time” because their knees have to touch - it breaks down barriers that may be there.  Here's how to do it:

3 rules:
You must touch one another as you share
Be completely honest
You can't respond for an entire day (otherwise it's not safe)

Ask these questions

1. Are there any obstacles between us emotionally? Physically? Spiritually?

2. Have I hurt you in any way?

3. Have I encouraged you enough?

4. What can I do to encourage you?

5. Is there anything you want me to do differently?

6. Do I express my love for you enough?

7. Is there anything we can do to communicate better?